5.

I have been aware of a desire to wear girl's clothes. since I was four years old. My basic interest seems to have been women's shoes and somehow I developed a longing for all feminine things that now envelopes a complete wardrobe. Ex- cept for a few occasions when my sister saw me dressed up at home, no one knew of my interests until I was married and disclosed the fact to my wife.

Before marriage I was worried that I might marry and find that I could not keep my desires secret from my wife. She loved me as a normal male, but I was afraid that she might leave me if she discovered the truth. So I did not disclose my secret to her until about 2 months after the wedding. This I did one night as we lay in bed. I related to her in a very serious manner that I had a longing to wear high heeled shoes and for some unknown reason it was very exciting to me to do so. I told her how I used to wear my mother's shoes when I was alone.

My wife did not understand the motives behind such ac- tions, but instead of condemning my desires she suggested that we buy a pair of heels for my own to be worn whenever I desired at home. At the time I thought that to be able to wear the shoes would satisfy all of my transvestite de- sires, but I soon found that I had to have the other femin- ine articles too to be happy. Within a few months my wife and I realized that I was "dressing up" more and more until there were weeks when I was wearing the garments under my work clothes during the day and being completely clothed in the evenings for several days in a row. My wife was be- coming nervous about my being detected by friends who might stop by so she thought it best if I tried to control myself.

I resented her for suggesting I part with my clothes, so instead of just wearing the clothes occasionally, I quit wearing them at all. As a result I slipped into periods of deep depression. Because of this she would sometimes coax me to put on my things for an evening. I would do so and feel much better, but this was too infrequent and the urge to wear them more often was as strong as ever. Finally when